Hurt someone's feelings who has been nothing but nice to me, Well most of the time

I feel awful, her daughter got a job, her son got a job, and she is unemployed, well I said, how you gone let your kids get a job before you. With all of the you got fat again jokes she dings me with I thought she could take it back, well she couldn't.

I really hurt her feelings, so she says well your a lot fatter than your wife and always will be. To try to get back at me, but she is always saying how fat i'm getting so it didn't really bother me it just made me realize how much I hurt her feelings.

Man I feel terrible because other than the fat jokes she is really nice, I honestly don't know what to do.

Well, it seems the two of you owe one another an apology...and a possible "move on." Even if she cannot/will not apologize to you, I believe apologizing to her will make you feel a little better and set your mind at ease.

Weight is no laughing/joking/signifying matter. Just today, a good friend of mine came into my office and said, "Hey big momma!' Now the crazy thing is - he ain't no skinny person...bigger than me. I lit into his ass so quick it shocked him...told him as long as he knew me, he better not EVER call me "big momma" again - ever! Of course, he apologized (profusely) and thought I was kidding - until my co-worker says to him, "Uh, she is NOT kidding!" As he was leaving, I reminded him - make sure you remember what I told you...I don't play that ****you take that somewhere else - but not here!

I don't give a damned if people are playing or not...you WILL respect me...I am a thick woman, will never ever be skinny...and I'm fine with it. It's just that people are comfortable with how they treat us because we ALLOW them to be.

At any rate, it's a matter of respecting one's space...and respecting one's being. Both of you were wrong.

Just my 2 cents...

BTW...how's Becca anyway? She has been on my church's prayer list since you all were in Europe.

Thanks Donna,  your right I should and think I will apologize.

I honestly thought that since she can hurl her fat and regain weight jokes at me every time I see her that she could take a little joke being thrown back at her ass,  didn't realize it would make me feel like **** if she reacted with hurt feelings.

It's funny though that people who say mean things can't handle when mean things are said to them.  

So I will apologize to her because I didn't want to hurt her, but I wonder if she ever considers how she makes me feel when she is calling me fat and saying I wasted a bypass surgery by gaining weight. 

Oh I forgot to say,  Becca is doing really well,  almost back to normal, she gained some weight and haven't been really sick like that for close to a month now.   She still is not back on vitamins,  she is going to start next week end one at a time so they can try to see if any of the pills may have been the problem.   Thank you Donna for the prayer list,  they never found out what it was,  it came stuck around for a few months and left.  Thank you I really appreciate it.

Lee, it was an honest mistake. So honestly make amends. Apologize and ask her to forgive your over site. Whether or not she accepts isn't the point. The point is that you, from your heart, feel badly and apologized. That's the best you can do..BUT the best thing to do. Smooooch.

I'm calling her now to apologize because I honestly do feel really bad.   but i'm going to remind her that every dam time I see her she got fat jokes. 

If someone is going to crack jokes on you every time they see you they should not break down when they get a joke thrown back at them.  

They said she was sleep when I called, but I know better.   I'll call her in the morning.

Good. Maybe she needs time, but I'm glad you are apologizing. IMHO, as far as people insulting me my feelings are this, people are going to hate me and just hate period. I can't change that.  I REFUSE to allow offense to block MY blessings because that's what it does. Offense takes you out of a place of peace,love and calmness and takes you to a place of hurt, anger and strife. Nope, not giving someone that power of me.

I do agree you should let her know that you don't appreciate her hurtful jokes and maybe even find out why she feels led to insult you. (I'm thinking she's jealous of you) but either way..once you know...let it go baby. Don't let it stop your blessings.

Just my .2. Smooooooooooooch.

I'm sure she realized she hurt your feelings as soon as you replied the way you did

You are both feeling bad so why address it? 

Let it roll, very sure your next meeting will start out on a much better note 

Ro I don't know if the next time I see her she will not make a fat joke, she does it eveytime I see her.   The last time I saw her she says those are some very nice sneakers, to bad you have fat ass ankles. 

There is not a time I see her that she doesn't have something to say about me regaining weight, and she does it because she knows my weight gain bothers me.   But I never lead on that it gets to me as much as it does.   I just joke it off.

She was equally wrong but if it bothers you let her know you meant no ill will.  Let her know that since she dishes it out you believed she could take it.  Just as you take her insults in stride.  This may be an opportunity to put a stop to her insults.